Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
