I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
