im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
