We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The air taste purple.
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