In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
my sisters under your porch take her home
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
