Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
