Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
