Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
