He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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