I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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