oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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