they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Randomize
