I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
