fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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