Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
