Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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