What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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