How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
