I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
