with your own penis?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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