So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
