Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
