while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
