I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
