I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
