I want to stick my p in your. b.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize