It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
