I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize