i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
