you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i wish my penis had a tongue
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
