There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
