he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The uberlube is also flammable
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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