Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
