i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
