We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize