people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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