the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
