So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
