so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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