like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
