Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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