i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
