I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize