I cannot find my penis.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
No...this little piggys going to the bar
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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