What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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