Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Drunk is not a location!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
