I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
