I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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