Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
