Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
