Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Of course I have a pirate flag
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
