it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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