I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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