Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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