Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
