It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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