You can't special order awesome
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
