Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
