We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
