Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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