Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
