I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I don't think brook has ever known best
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
