I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
