Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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