I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
