Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
