Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
