.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Randomize