We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize