I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
