I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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