Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
