At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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