I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
