I CAN MOONWALK!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
